my oldest friend

Did i ever told you about my oldest friend, she watch me most nights, she never talk, but she's a great listener, some nights she just disappear, but she always come back,and when she return ..
i have to look around to find her, she look shy , i don't know why , is it because she left me for last nights? or it's just another game for her ..
I like how she look at me..
i love how she make me feel ...
and i love how we spend the night together,
but .. when i wake up in the morning ..
i look around .. and she's gone..
i know she has lot of friends, but i like to feel that I'm the only one
you wanna see her? just look around in the sky .. and there she is ..

Token by photokristi

Life..

OK i know my mood was down lately, and i was blaming everything ( i still do) including my self.
the thing is i was thinking about my past and all wrong choices i made, and how i waste years of my life, and long list of why and what if.

but that's enough, past is past, i have to move on

I'm not the only one who had a bad life, almost every single human on earth will tell me the same, the only difference is some of them learn from their mistakes, some of them didn't.

so how i should learn from my mistakes? and what should i do?

actually i knew the answer but i was lazy and i wanted to find an easy way.

but again that's life I'm talking about, there is no easy way i can't just start new life

i have to make peace with my past and take baby steps to move forward, and maybe someday I'll look around and I'll be pleased with what i have been accomplished.

Losing Hope

The 8th anniversary of saddam regime fall is just in few days, and that means a month later is my 8th anniversary of entering iraq for first time.

with all of it suffer and difficulty it's one of my very best days, days that i was filled with dreams and hope.

and now after 8 years, i faced with brutal fact that i can't even recognize my country anymore.

this is not my country i dreamed about ..

i had enough watching little kids stood under the hot sun in summer and sell water to people who sited on they A/C cars !!

or an old woman looking in cabbages for worthless stuff!

i had enough with a government who doesn't care about their own people.

i can go on and on about what i'm going thru everyday of my last 8 years.

but none of them compared to that i'm losing my hope, a hope of one day iraq will rise up, and no iraqi kid have to suffer anymore.

This Arabic poem to doctor ahmad al waeli in 1965 describe Iraq situation on that time, but it that nothing changed..

بغداد يومـك لا يزال كأمسه *** صورٌ علـى طرفي نقيض تجمع
يطغى النعيـم بجانب وبجانب *** يطغـى الشقا فمرفّه ومضيع
في القصراغنية على شفةِ الهوى *** والكوخ دمعٌ في المحاجر يلذع
ومن الطوى جنب البيادر صرّع *** وبجنب زق ابـي نؤاس صرّع
ويد تكبّل وهـي مما يُفتدى *** ويدٌ تقبّل وهي مما يُقطـع
وبراءة بيـد الطغاة مهانة *** ودناءة بيـد المبرِّر تصنـع
ويصان ذاك لأنـه من معشر *** ويضام ذاك لأنّه لا يركـع